9 Justices, "Twin Peaks" Part 8, & 1 Muslim-Ban Opinion

While it may be coincidence that the Supreme Court's opinion in Trump v. International Refugee Assistance Project came out the morning after the broadcast of the hyper-bizarre Episode 8 of the "Twin Peaks" revival (an episode so scary they waited two weeks before the next one), who knows? Maybe there is more than meets the eye...after all, who knows how the nine Justices really decide their cases?

I. No Place Like Home, in Twin Peaks and Court Opinions

The June 26, 2017 opinion, see id., speaks of allowing people with a "bona fide" connection to the U.S. to avoid the excluding action of President Trump's "Muslim ban" executive order:

§2(c) may not be enforced against foreign nationals who have a credible claim of a bona fide relationship with a person or entity in the United States. . . .

The facts of these cases illustrate the sort of relationship that qualifies. For individuals, a close familial relationship is required.. . . A foreign national who wishes to enter the United States to live with or visit a family member . . . . clearly has such a relationship. . . .

Slip op. at 12 (per curiam). So people with a foot in the door, a tie to the homeland, get the chance to enter.

Oddly enough, this rather resembles the part of Episode 8 where the evil "BOB", a truly alien and demonic creature, is shown getting ready to invade the U.S. after the 1945 Alamogordo, New Mexico "Trinity" nuclear explosion summons a demonic gray creature (BOB's mom?), who vomits him out of her mouth in a big bubble. But elsewhere, in a castle on purple seas, a fortress that may represent the good-guys White Lodge, the benevolent Giant (billed as "???????" in the 2017 credits)--who looks not completely unlike Justices Kennedy or Breyer--views the previous scene with horror (on an old-timey movie screen), starts shooting golden fire out of his head, and in a golden sphere he creates, sends (with the help of Señorita Dido) golden girl Laura Palmer, homecoming queen and iconic American, to come help us.

Homecoming homegirl vs. terrorist alien. Sounds resonant with present-day real-life memes, doesn't it?

Which all offers the interesting question: since Episode 8 came out before the Trump v. IRAP opinion, was it a cause of the way the opinion came out?

II. Is the Court the "Black Lodge" of American Life? And Does That Make It Really Fun??

Perhaps so, especially if we see the Court as a mysterious channel of dark forces. Why not? After all, the Supreme Court, with its red curtains featured on the Court website, actually has a creepy resemblance to the red-curtained Red Room from Twin Peaks--a foyer of sorts to the sinister Black Lodge. Black robes, Black Lodge--whatever.

And how do we know how the Court decides cases? They could be rolling dice, consulting fortune-tellers, or reading the entrails of chickens--who knows. One can imagine, then, the most mysterious Member of the Court (e.g., "When the h-ll is this guy leaving anyway?"), that human "???????", a certain unnamed Justice, on June 25, not having weighed in on the Trump v. IRAP opinion yet, and wondering how to proceed.

First, he muses about his tenure on the Court, "Do I stay on another few years, like Dale Cooper trapped in the Black Lodge? Cripes, I've been on the Court longer than the quarter-century ol' Dale was imprisoned. Or should I try to escape? Maybe I'll pull a 'Lyle Denniston' and retire ...But will I be replaced by Jared Kushner?"

Then he drives home for a little relaxation before "cramming" his way through the night and finishing up with IRAP; perhaps listening to a little Chance the Rapper, maybe "Nostalgia": then chilling out in a sleeveless undershirt--colloquially called a "wife-beater"--(which could help if he wants to fantasize himself as Tony Soprano), wearing flip-flops (good for folks with a flip-floppy reputation), and diving into a couple six-packs of Pabst Blue Ribbon--"the working man's drink"--, he peeps Episode 8 and feels his mind explode.

"That's it!" he cries. "Keeping it homey like Comey!" THE MYSTERIOUS UNNAMED JUSTICE singlehandedly drafts the opinion, with its homey focus on "bona fide" relationships, gets the other Justices' approval (or dissent) on Skype or FaceTime, then e-mails his magnum opus du jour to some poor clerk to have it proofread and printed, before falling into a snoring stupor in front of the TV for a couple hours: then, a bracing shower, darn fine cup of coffee, and dash back to the Court to face the world.

After all that excitement, who'd ever want to retire from the Court? Why dance away from the best party in town??

III. "Sonia Sotomayor's Dance Party", or, Kennedy Does the Jitterbug? as Justices Dance Redly Out of the Court?

Speaking of "dance" and "party": those amused by the Saturday Night Live skit "Janet Reno's Dance Party" might also be entertained by the real-life "Sonia Sotomayor Dance Ambush" that the third female Justice sprung on the Court's end-of-year party in 2010. Per Nina Totenberg, Justice Kennedy "did a jitterbug" at the shindig, id.Who knew he had the moves.

So when (rather, if) SOME UNIDENTIFIED JUSTICE finally leaves the Court, will he do a jitterbug, or will he dance away like the "Man from Another Place", a.k.a. the "Dancing Dwarf", seen here in the Red Room with copper Cooper and Laura Palmer--sometimes regarded as the signature scene of the entire series--, and here in the end credits of that ground-breaking hour of TV (Episode 2 of the first season, the second episode after the pilot)? dancing away through the Court's red curtains? That would be a sight.

(Ruth Bader Ginsburg, too, would look pretty interesting if she did that. And Chief Justice Rehnquist, with the gold stripes on his robes, would've looked really flashy as a dancer...)

But again, why retire? If they feel "at home, sweet home" on the Court, why leave? And what would Some Justice, or Notorious RBG, or Notorious Chief JGR Jr., or the other Notoriouses do with their newfound free time? Wander up and down K Street like the sinister Black Lodge woodsmen from Episode 8, brandishing cigarettes and asking every passerby, "Gotta light?"

Conclusion: Americans, Aliens, and Amity on July 4th

Naturally, the above scenario probably didn't happen in real life; but it is fun to speculate. Maybe in some parallel universe (as apropos for Twin Peaks), some Justice or other really did listen to some Chance and pound a couple Pabsts before watching Episode 8 and rapidly composing the IRAP opinion. "???????"

A more serious point is that the executive order in question itself seems to come from a parallel universe, in a way; is there rationality, or just animus? Are people from certain Muslim-leaning nations seen as a bunch of burka-wearing BOBs, supernaturally evil aliens who shouldn't be coming here? One hopes not. On Twin Peaks, Laura Palmer had problems, but she often showed kindness to people with difficulties or who were seen as "different" (Audrey Horne's disabled brother; people who needed Meals on Wheels) rather than abusing them. One wonders what she would think about the executive order.

So the Court may have taken at least a step in the right direction with its opinion, in saying that outsiders, too, can be insiders, can be shown amity and be treated something like members of the American family. In a free country, our "home, sweet home", in this Fourth-of-July week, we cherish the freedom not only to make gentle fun of our Justices (and any drinking or sartorial habits they may have), but also to enjoy the fruits of people being "created equal"--and to enjoy our having a Court that helps protect those precious fruits. Enjoy your holiday week, under law, and maybe over a beer keg doing a keg stand (if you freely choose to do so--but don't drink and drive!).

(Cross-posted, and expanded, from Boyle's Laws)